Andrei Ain’t No Hollaback Boy

  • Wednesday, June 24th, 2009 at 4:28 pm by Bear Frazer

Let me warn you: I break out in song rather consistently. Fair warning.

Andrei Arloskvi’s devastating loss at the hands of Brett “The Grim” Rogers has had some serious repercussions. Not only has it knocked him down the rankings and caused him to postpone his boxing debut, but it also looks like the 22-second massacre also cost him a second contract with Affliction.

Unfortunately, we can’t blame the loss on the break-up between him and Patrycja Mikula - that happened a long while ago.

Earlier this week, Affliction VP (and Mr. Clean look-alike) Tom Atencio announced that the T-shirt company turned fight organization will not be offering the Belarussian Heavyweight a new contract. Translation: Atencio wants the foreigner to mail back the $80 shirts they let him borrow.

With the fourth and final fight satisfied from his previous contract, “The Pitbull” is now left without an MMA home. On a two-fight losing skid (thanks to Fedor Emelianenko and Rogers), it’s imminent that a suitor such as the UFC will not dish out anywhere near the $1.5 million or $750 thousand dollar price tag he once enjoyed with Affliction. Right now the UFC is looking for the best-in-the-world championship caliber and with Arlovski having back-to-back losses, it’s safe to assume that Zuffa has absolutely zero interest with him at this time. Tie in the fact that Arlovski chose Affliction over the UFC just one year ago, it makes things look even worse for “The Pitbull.”

This is how I’d like to sum up the past 365 days for Andrei Arlovski.

Uh-huh. This my shit. This my shit.

A few times Andrei’s been around that track,
He left Zuffa for that Affliction crack,
Cause he ain’t no hollaback boy. He ain’t no hollback boy.

He saw Fedor and went on the attack,
Until Fedor slugged him and his body went splat,
Cause he ain’t no hollaback boy. He ain’t no hollaback, boy.

That shit’s [simply] unfortunate. U-N-F-O-R-T-U-N-A-T-E.

No problem though. Andrei still has a lot of options. Remember, he’s been on this kryptonite before and he can easily turn some things around with a few wins. Here are some real profitable and killer options (okay, only the first two are real profitable and killer options) for the Belarussian to consider.

- There are some potential big money match-ups for him in DREAM. Arlovski has a huge international fan base and pairing him up against a fighter with personality like “King Mo” could be huge. A dream match-up with another international superstar, Mirko Cro Cop, would be colossal.

- Strikeforce is building up their heavyweight division. The Cali-based organization already has standouts like Alistair Overeem, Bret Rogers, Fabricio Werdum. There could be some solid rematch storylines with Rogers and Werdum, as well as a first ever match between Overeem and “The Pitbull.”

- There are some regional MMA promotions around who I’m sure would love to work with Arlovski … like Adrenaline for instance. I mean, Arlovski vs. Mercer is the most logical step for him. And if not, he’s got a boxing career somewhere.

If I were Arlovski, I’d decide where I’d want to be long term. He could have a strong future with a growing organization like Strikeforce, or he could make some money and do some marquee match-ups in Japan before he is invited back into the UFC.

Either way, I’d take the summer off and holla back at Patrycja Mikula.

But then again, Andrei ain’t no hollaback boy.

Time to check my mail. E-M-A-I-L, my email!

Your BFF,
Bear.Fuckin.Frazer.

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2 Responses to “Andrei Ain’t No Hollaback Boy”

  1. Samantha says:
    June 24, 2009 at 4:48 pm

    This shit is banana- B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

  2. Danny Acosta says:
    June 24, 2009 at 5:16 pm

    Wow, that was a journey I rather enjoyed. It was like drifting toward the waterfall only to find that dry land was not a myth.

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