Thoughts From The Outhouse: Vera Vs. Jones

  • Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010 at 10:25 pm by Bear Frazer

ufc_vera_vs_jones_poster

These “after thoughts” were originally supposed to be part of a “larger” collaborative piece, but that prototype failed. We’re still working on the kinks. So instead of wasting some thoughts, I’m slinging them here on the blog. Enjoy.

James Irvin vs. Alessio Sakara

FIGHT! Breakdown: Alessio Sakara looked good, but “The Sandman” James Irvin just didn’t look himself at all. I know he is coming off an injury and might have some Octagon rust, but perhaps that tremendous weight cut really took a tremendous amount of energy out of him because his reflexes were real slow. The Italian really lit him up and ended the fight with what appears to have been the knuckle sandwich of doom. Obviously, it must have gotten lost in translation as the sandwich is supposed to go in the mouth, Legionarius. Not the eye. Very weird ending, but also a good eye on ref Josh Rosenthal’s part to not it was a punch, not an eye poke.

What’s next for Irvin: An appointment with an eye doctor. Then, a Gaterade factory so he can re-gain some electrolytes. Once that is done, perhaps a total opposite in Eric Schafer.
What’s next for Sakara: I know he was cut by the UFC, but in a perfect world, David Loiseau would be brought back for this slugfest. But since that probably won’t happen, I’d like to see him throw down with Cro Cop protégé Goran Reljic.

Additional Commentary: Alessio Sakara did an awesome job of impersonating Russell Crowe in his role from Gladiator. And all this talk of knuckle sandwiches has kinda made me hungry.

Cheick Kongo vs. Paul Buentello

FIGHT! Breakdown: I know this isn’t Pee-Wee’s Playhouse, but the secret word for tonight’s telecast of UFC on Versus must be “weird” because this is the weirdest main card I have seen thus far. French kickboxer Cheick Kongo takes Paul Buentello down at will with the fight ending almost twice early on: in the first round due to “The Headhunter” seemingly jamming his pinky finger and in the second round after Kongo illegally knees him in the face. The end finally comes in the last stanza as the Frenchman taps out his battered nemesis due to killer guerilla strikes to the thigh.

What’s next for Buentello: Tim Sylvia, and unfortunately, it’ll probably be at one of those Adrenaline MMA Shows.
What’s next for Kongo: Ben Rothwell is booked, so with that said, I’d like to Kongo take on the winner of Roy Nelson/Stefan Struve. Both of those dudes have solid BJJ skills with underrated striking. A match with Kongo could possibly upstream another contender in what is already a stacked heavyweight pool.

Additional Commentary: Man, Cheick Kongo kisses his fingers and pounds his chest a lot. Those convulsions scare me. Nevertheless, it’s nice to see him work on the weakest part of his games: wrestling and thigh striking. And in other related news, GSP has his poker face on. Lady Gaga would be proud.

Gabriel Gonzaga vs. Junior Dos Santos

FIGHT! Breakdown: Hello normalcy. You have been distant strangers all night. Don’t ever leave me again. So Gonzaga was feisty early on, throwing leg kicks, a few punches and even getting “Cigano’s” back at one point. But once Dos Santos shook him off, “Napao” lost confidence, it seemed, and decided to stand up and trade with him instead. Unfortunately for him, “Cigano” blocked his Cro Cop-esque leg kicks, slugged him in the fast and TKO-ed him unconscious like most folks expected.

What’s next for Gonzaga: Minotauro Nogueira, and not just because he’s the mentor of Dos Santos, but because it was be absolute BJJ sickness.
What’s next for Junior Dos Santos: Cain Velasquez in a number one contender’s match for the UFC Heavyweight Title. There really isn’t another alternative, plus you know “Cigano” would want to avenge his Mr. Miyagi.

Additional Commentary: I don’t care how much Gonzaga loses or how happy he looks even when he loses. He is still the one dude who can beat any heavyweight on any given day.

Brandon Vera vs. Jon “Bones” Jones

FIGHT! Breakdown: It’s just amazing how Jones dominated “The Truth” from the opening bell. Aside from the one weird moment where Vera slugged him in the face with an illegal upkick, which prompted a delayed reaction from Double J, it was all Jon “Bones” Jones. We’ve never seen Vera grimace over with pain and let’s face it: that elbow to the eye socket was mean! Dude’s just unstoppable right now.

What’s next for Vera: After an appointment with an eye surgeon, a match up with the under appreciated janitor himself Vladimir Matyushenko (though a fight with Thiago Silva would probably be a little more exciting).
What’s next for Jones: Another rising star: Ryan Bader. Also young, undefeated, heavy handed with a wrestling base, this is definitely the best available match-up available, hands down.

Additional Commentary: The ending to this fight was so crazy, that my right eye was hurting. Then again, I’ve had a headache over my eye all day. DAMN YOU, SUDAFED!

Closing Statement:
Despite the weirdness and oddball finishes, new stars were born, careers we rejuvenated and eyeballs were damaged on the debut broadcast of UFC on Versus. Even the production value, for some peculiar reason, felt better tonight than it has on recent Zuffa-branded events. In the end, this was a big night for all those involved – be it the UFC, DirecTV, Versus, most people whose first name start with J, the Keebler Elf and the eye surgeons who will be capitalizing off said fighter’s injuries.

Your BFF,
Bear.Fuckin.Frazer.
Follow.Me.On.Twitter.

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